you

Behind

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There is a lot to say

without even making the smallest sound

I am a relationship and still can’t find myself wearing

a full heart-ed smile

our conversations are personal, never a feeling for either of us to lie

and when I am with you

and it’s time for you to leave, I want you to stay for a longer  while

but I am losing track of our time

and I’m hiding inside of my own self,

seeking to only find myself being lonely inside

Maybe you are lost too

and maybe your loneliest can’t find me

but I’m standing right in the open and I am starting to think 

you don’t really want to seek me

Maybe you might be more than what I need

and maybe we did this too soon

we could be crashing our own love down

and maybe I just don’t know what to do with the love that you gave me

and maybe this union was something I did to

see if you could just save me

but I can’t see myself letting you go

we understand each other and on the outside we look perfect

but there is something here that’s not right

that’t not fair

but I cant stop myself from looking into those

eyes that tell me we’re fine

but I find myself behind

and I know you are saying “I oughta know by now”

because  you wanted  you to be mine

but I don’t

and I want to know that your heart will be promised

and your truth will be contagious

I want to know by now that I do not have to worry

and I want to now by now that I do not have to think about anymore “maybes”

And I want to know that you and I can have the most to say over any sound

and I just don’t want to wear a smile, rather I want you to feel it when your not around

and I ought to hear you over my music

and there is a reason our different worlds clicked

we are together and I want to be able to exist with you 

and I don’t want to feel alone when I have you

something is missing from us

and because you first found me,

I am determined to find it

Play into my Soul

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I guess you have no choice but to lie in bed thinking about love and there is no way of
Avoiding it..
Especially when ya heart decides to contact your mind without any prior notice.
And these headphones in my ears couldn’t play music to take my mind of this.
Because all the sounds and vocals, even rap lyrics all bring up a moment in my life that pertain to you.
And these poems I write have no other choice but to be about you.
And my words loving you is all they really wanted to do.
I wish my creativity could reflect another topic or a moment in my life when everything seemed to mean something.
But that probably won’t happen because Love was something that I thought would make me happy, But since it didn’t last, my heart refuses to be left broken. So I will continue to play these soulful tracks until my heart decides it’s ready to love again and I will continue writing these poems until my words finally want to express my feelings for another man.
Play on music because your playing right into my soul, which guided my pen to write my thoughts better than they ever did before…..

fluid thoughts

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Nobody in the the world but you
the overwhelming anticipation building up inside of me
Because when that day comes I cannot wait to repeat those same words to you